Humour

When is it appropriate to use humour and comedy to talk about traumatic experiences like childhood sexual abuse? How can this actually help to educate us better about support? Join Sophia and comedian Jonny Pelham as he shares his experiences writing and performing his set for Live At the Apollo, which focused on his experiences of childhood sexual abuse.

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About your hosts

A short description about the episode co-hosts

Humour & Child Sexual Abuse Podcast (Video or Audio Options)

A more in-depth podcast episode, giving context and personal stories associated with the topic.

Things you should and shouldn't say when using humour to talk about Child Sexual Abuse

A short video episode, focusing on two things you should and two things you shouldn’t say to someone who has experienced (or is experiencing) child sexual abuse.

Episode transcripts

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A Recap

A written summary of the key advice in these episodes Production Crew/ Special Thanks

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Additional Tips

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About your hosts

Sophia - Founder of Secrets Worth Sharing

Sophia (she/her) is a survivor of child sexual abuse, designer and the founder of Secrets Worth Sharing, where she builds a community of having these difficult conversations with 'serious joy'.

Jonny Pelham - Stand-Up Comedian

Jonny (he/him) is a British stand-up comedian and writer. In 2019, he wrote an Edinburgh Fringe stand-up show, about his childhood sexual abuse, called Off Limits. He went on to deliver this at Live at the Apollo and then host a Channel 4 documentary about abuse.

Humour & Child Sexual Abuse

In-depth Podcast, 40 minutes.

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Things you Should and Shouldn't do when using Humour to talk about childhood sexual abuse

Practical do's and don't's episode, 18 minutes

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Download the Episode Transcripts

To recap...

Things you should say/do to support your partner who experienced abuse	Why?
Be open about people's reactions to comedy	There are many different ways to respond to childhood sexual abuse, and for some people, the healing outlet is comedy. When practiced properly, it can be a powerful tool to create an approachable environment to explore abuse. [As a comedian] Allow people to have their own reactions to comedy, some people may react well whilst others may feel triggered
Challenge why the notion of abuse can be seen as funny	Often we find that people tell stories of abuse as part of their comedy, but it is important to challenge where this comes from An example of this is a few comedians might make light of serious people's lived experiences with abuse, without actually having their own story with this Unfortunately, certain topics guarantee a reaction from an audience i.e. ‘paedophilia’, consider finding your own voice in comedy and not relying on using CSA as a punchline
See comedy as a hopeful outlet	We need more ways to make space for these topics to be discussed within a joyful, hopeful outlet just like in this podcast Do remember if you're going to disclose something personal, think about the consequences of it, in a positive and negative way Talking about these topics could help another person open up

Things you shouldn't say	Why
Do not use CSA in your comedy in a crass and insensitive way	Often when someone discloses their experience with CSA, someone may make a joke or make light of their experience to feel less anxious, but it is important to make sure you are making the survivor feel heard rather than dismissed You can connect with people safely and respectfully through comedy, rather than saying something offensive Sit in the moment when someone tells you their story, and don't use them telling you this as a 'pass' to make a joke of it. For example, saying ‘I always thought you were a bit weird’ in response to someone disclosing their abuse is NOT an acceptable response
Do not use children as a part of your comedy	Some comedy skits make light of CSA and this can be traumatic and triggering for survivors as well as children included in the comedy Remember that children cannot consent to comedy and therefore we should not use them as any part of the ‘joke’ Children should never be the punchline of ANY of your material, regardless of what you’re talking about
[As an audience member] Don't heckle when someone is talking about childhood sexual abuse	When someone is sharing something personal, be mindful not to 'dive in' and try to involve yourself in the joke Also remember that if you are going to speak to an audience about a sensitive topic, give them space to leave the room without fear of being ‘called out’ in a comedy show setting Be mindful of the impact of your words on survivors for the rest of the show, and beyond
Don't joke about what happened to the person, instead joke about the society that allows the abuse to happen	Instead of joking about someone's lived experience, the joke can instead be about society's response The comedic element lies in where certain individuals don’t know how to deal with these difficult topics Some survivors admit that humour can be helpful and fulfilling at times, ‘if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry’ However, this is dependent on the survivor to choose to include it in their comedy Remember that you can talk about CSA with a tonal variety

Production Crew / Special Thanks

Camera and Sound - Polly & Sarah from Broadcast Revolution
Editing and Subtitles - Tom Eames
Special thanks to Sheeraz Gulsher, for putting us in touch with Broadcast Revolution and the Studio Team.
Special Thanks to Roxy Van der Post, one of our former crew who put us in touch with our editor, Tom!

Additional resources and tips

Jonny's Instagram

Watch Jonny's Channel 4 Documentary, Let's Talk: Childhood Sexual Abuse

*Please note - in sharing resources mentioned by our co-hosts, we are not necessarily endorsing all of their content, but we do so to allow you to make up your own mind.