Safe Sex Work
How can sex work, when chosen and practiced safely, be a powerful tool to explore sexual feelings around abuse, and take control of our bodies? What can we learn from sex workers about body safety and talking with children?
Main Video
IMPORTANT NOTE: By platforming Sex Work, we are not condoning children accessing porn and recognise that the mainstream porn industry is toxic and abusive. However, to prevent childhood sexual abuse, conversations on consent, sex and bodies need to happen in age appropriate ways, and who else better to share their thoughts on that than a sex worker who is also a parent! Our work will always be about platforming the diversity of survivor experiences, and some survivors engage in sex work and have very important lessons to share on how to practice these conversations safely. We might not agree with all the perspectives and on ways to do it, but there are things to learn from each person and recognise that not all survivors are a monolith.
Your Hosts
Sophia — Founder of Secrets Worth Sharing
Sophia (she/her) is a survivor of child sexual abuse, designer and the founder of Secrets Worth Sharing, where she builds a community of having these difficult conversations with 'serious joy'.
Chelsey Peach - Full Service Sex Worker
A full service sex worker, content creator and podcaster with a passion for destigmatising all things sex work, Chelsey (she/her) is an advocate for sex workers rights and full decriminalisation, as we all deserve access to safe working conditions and workers rights.
Bonus Content: Dos and Don’ts Video
Join Sophia and sex worker Chelsey Peach as they discuss.
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To recap
Things you should say/do
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Recognise that until we have safe laws around sex work, it is high risk for people who engage in sex work. Make sure you show gratitude for their sex work and ask what can be done to make them feel more comfortable. Encourage open communication and consent within sexual relationships as well as aftercare.
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While not everyone agrees with their chosen profession, we should all respect their humanity. People choose sex work for a number of reasons: some to reclaim their trauma, others as a way of detaching from sexual experiences and finding a way to empower themselves. Don’t blame the person’s choice of profession for the abuse they experienced. This is of course only applicable if the person is practicing sex work out of their own choice and not being coerced into it.
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Advocate for the decriminalisation and destigmatisation of sex work through campaigns and protests. Amplify the voices of survivors and sex workers whenever you can.
Things you shouldn't say/do
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Those who are sex workers or engage in kink are more likely to be questioned by people in their life about their best and worst sex experiences. Respect privacy and avoid prying into personal details as you could trigger someone. Don’t make jokes about potentially sensitive subjects such as “rape, locking people up in rooms for sexual please and asking about their worst sex experiences” - these are all things Chelsea has heard before and can be really traumatising.
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Some people have complex sexual kinks and fantasies which may involve recreating scenes of sexual harm in a consensual way (for instance with 'Daddy and Little girl' kinks (DDLG)). These kinks are not to be confused with actions outside of consensual adult sex. Some people have kinks that they can't control and would only practice in safe consensual environments, and that doesn't make them more likely to abuse. Acknowledge that kinks can be exploited through sexual abuse and exploitation but that consensual sex scenes with consenting adults can be safe spaces to explore kink.
Additional resources and tips
Learn more about Decrim Now, the National Campaign for sex worker's rights mentioned in this episode.
Read Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers' Rights by Juno Mac and Molly Smith
Sexual choking - It Left No Marks
Know Your Rights - A Guide for Sex Workers - English Collective of Prostitutes
S*x Workers’ Union (@swunion_uk) • Instagram photos and videos
Sex and Rage - A community centred on reducing sexual stigma and shame, focusing on healing and justice around sexual trauma
*Please note - in sharing resources mentioned by our co-hosts, we are not necessarily endorsing all of their content, but we do so to allow you to make up your own mind.
Production Crew / Special Thanks
Editing and Subtitles - Tom Eames
